America(n) Rules

Rule #1: Don’t be a fucking idiot. Idiots don’t think rationally, they just spew emotionally. Yeah, social media is a terrific vessel, but don’t make it a toilet.

Rule #2: We ain’t going back. Ever. Roe v. Wade ain’t coming back up for a vote, religion ain’t entering our schools, bakers aren’t going to discriminate and there will never be a wall on our southern border. That ship has sailed. Find something new to be pissed about.

Rule #3: No one’s coming for your guns. They should and I wish they would, but that’ll never happen. So there, Ted Nugent …you win.

Rule #4: We suck at war. Yes, we were raised on Clint Eastwood versions of ass-kick’n Americans, bravery and grit…but the fact is, it’s a nasty business and we have a history of failing miserably. Also, know this: We don’t have brave men and women of the armed forces…we have kids in uniforms. So cease with the glorious reruns; the world has changed and it’s high-time our view of it followed suit.

Rule #5: The chances of Congress enacting “term limits” is on par with their impending pay cut. Ain’t gonna happen…ever. So stop bitching about what a sorry lot they are. That’s how it works; you get elected to stay elected and you stay elected to represent yourself.

Rule #6: It’s only a matter of time before we adopt a single-payer healthcare system. We determine how long that takes, so don’t write your congressman…write your local newspaper. Let the media do the heavy lifting on this issue.

Rule #7: Fuck off with your techno-bashing. A nation full of people walking around with their noses glued to their phones is a good thing. It signals information gathering, entertainment, interpersonal relationships and up to the minute enlightenment.

Rule #8: The curtain’s been pulled back on Christianity. We are the first generation to say what our parents were thinking all along: If what you’re selling was true, you wouldn’t need to sell it.

Rule #9: Grow a pair. If you see or hear bullying, racism, misogyny or xenephobia …speak up. You’ll never need to apologize for standing on the right side of history and the chances are good that someone will have your back.

Rule #10: Cease with the exceptionalism. We ain’t the greatest nation on Earth; we’re one of the many wonderful countries that stake a claim in this world. We each have treasures and warts…and this ain’t a competition.